I have a t-shirt printed up that says, “I’m not ditzy, I’m deaf.” I know I come across that way sometimes. A lot of times I don’t fully understand what you say at first and may answer you incorrectly or do something that doesn’t make any sense. Then I process what you actually said and I’m like, “Oh, wait, okay!” Which probably doesn’t help 😝
I need to not answer immediately and just wait for my brain to process before speaking. But old habits die hard. I think part of me still thinks that I can hear like I used to be able to when I was a kid.
I used to be a lot more social when I was in elementary and middle school. If you knew me before I had to wear the hearing aids (13-14) you got a different me. Although I guess she’s still here… she just can’t talk to you very much if the only time I see you is when there are groups of people like at family parties or whatever.
Have you ever had the closed captioning on when watching a live event? There’s a lag between what is happening on the screen and the captions that come up, which makes it confusing to follow, especially if several people are speaking quickly one after the other on the screen.
And that’s usually why I’m so quiet in a group… it takes me just a few seconds too long to process what everyone says because of the delay in listening comprehension that by the time I “get it” the conversation has moved on. And sometimes it’s exhausting trying so hard to listen and still not understanding it that I just don’t want to bother. Or I fake it by laughing when everyone laughs or whatever, but really I have no (or very minimal) idea what is going on.
Helen Keller once said, “Blindness cuts us off from things, but deafness cuts us off from people,” and I can confirm that’s definitely true. I always say I’m not hearing enough to fit in with the hearing people, but I’m not deaf enough to fit in with Deaf culture.
It can be a lonely place to be.
For those of you who do take the time to talk to me and get to know me in spite of the communication barriers, I appreciate it more than you know 🤗🥰