I keep having these what I guess I’d call visions of you: do you have long blonde hair, laughing eyes, and a scruffy beard? You’re also “tall” compared to my tiny 4’10” frame but still on the shorter side, maybe 5’8″ or 5’9″, with a bit of a belly… basically like a younger, blonder Santa Claus mixed with maybe a little Thor? Hopefully I’ll find out, one day. If that is you, you are absolutely gorgeous. Like, so gorgeous I have no idea how I’d ever hope to catch the eye of someone like you… God keeps insisting that you’ll wait for me, but I’m not entirely convinced. I don’t have the best luck when it comes to love, that’s for sure. But then again, maybe you don’t either?
But what you look like doesn’t matter to me nearly as much as what you are like. As long as you’re kind and honest, and want a stable (but yet still passionate and adventurous 😄) life, those are the most important things to me. I’m tired of feeling tossed back and forth without a port in the storm. I’d like someone with strong arms who can anchor me when I float too far into the clouds. Someone who will hold me at night, someone who will dance with me even if there isn’t any music except for the music in our heads… someone who will take care of me without treating me like I’m made of glass. Because somehow, even though I’ve been broken what feels like thousands of times in my life by now, I’ve never once shattered into a million pieces. That must count for something, right?
Sometimes I wonder why I couldn’t have met you when we were younger. Sometimes it doesn’t seem fair, that we won’t have all that many years together here on Earth. Although I guess we will have eternity to look forward to, but will we still be able to have romantic relationships in heaven? I like to believe that we will, but I’m not entirely sure about that. But I do know this: we’ve already spent so many days apart from each other that I want to savor as many days as I can with you.
God has let me know that if we had met when we were younger, we definitely would have had a lot of chemistry… but we would have fizzled out, because neither one of us were ready for each other back then. I tried to cry in protest, “But, we could have changed together! Couldn’t we have?” But God didn’t agree with me, so I guess He’s right, as much as it pains me to admit it. There are times where just for once, I want to be right, do you know what I mean?
We are twin flames in a lot of ways, maybe even in ways that neither of us realize yet. We both came to God in our 20’s, and we both desperately needed His help. We both got our lives changed by Him and now we both love Him dearly and want to spread that love throughout the world. And we both want someone to love more than anything, although not just any love will do… we each want something deeper, someone who will understand us and see everything that we are, both shadow and light, and yet still want to stay.
We’re close, so close I can almost reach out and touch you with my soul, but I still need just a little more time to prepare for you. I do want to be at my best for you, Unicorn, no matter how difficult the road is. I only hope you’ll be waiting for me at the end of it with a big smile on your face to greet me. I want you to know that I can’t wait for that day. It will take everything I have to not tackle you to the ground and cover your face in kisses, and since I already told you what a shorty I am that would be quite a feat. But I would do it, because it’s you.
We’ve been calling to each other for all of these years. Will this be the year we finally meet, Unicorn?