Dear Redneck Truck Driver in Ware,

I needed a couple of days to think about what I wanted to say to you, and now I’m finally ready to let you have it. See, I was feeling pretty good about myself on Sunday morning. I actually drove on 91, 291, and 90 to the Rietta Flea Market, which is over an hour away. I know this is probably nothing to you in your big bad black pickup truck but to me this is a huge deal because I am absolutely terrified of highway driving. Granted, I only drove on it on the way up, because it was 10 AM by the time I got back down to 90 and I don’t have a death wish, kthxbye, but that’s not the point.

Not only did I drive on the highway, I used my GPS, which I am also anxious about because I am basically Piglet from Winnie the Pooh in human form with all of my various phobias and neuroses. So yeah, between feeling super brave with all the highway driving and GPS using and then finding some My Little Ponies at the flea market this Very Small Animal was pretty pumped until I had the displeasure of sharing the road with you. I was stopped at a busy intersection in Ware, which I had never driven through before, when you pulled up behind me.

I know, I had my right turn signal on, and there wasn’t a “No turn on red” sign anywhere, but there were all these buildings in the way and it was hard to see what was coming, not to mention that it’s an unfamiliar area to me and on top of that I had been awake since 4:30 in the morning, so I decided to just wait until the green light to turn.

For the next few minutes you proceeded to lay on the horn at me because I wasn’t turning during the red light, at 10:00 on a Sunday morning. You do realize that if I hadn’t been turning you would have had to wait anyway, right?

When the light turned you were riding my bumper the whole way and between that and all the horn honking I was so anxious my stomach was in knots. I had to pull onto a side street to let you pass because I was getting so scared, and as I was turning you gunned the engine and almost sideswiped me as you were going around me.
It took my stomach a good 15 minutes to stop hurting afterwards, and I just have to ask why? I know living in Ware kinda sucks and this is coming from someone who lives in Springfield so that’s saying something, but is it really that bad that you had to take it out on me?

I just hope you weren’t going to church… although you obviously need it.

No love because you scared the crap out of me,
The Girl in the Fabulous Purple Honda Fit


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