Dear Men,
Yes, I’m cute.
You stare at me, approach me, try to talk to me.
But most of you don’t seem to want to understand me.
I seem to scare the vast majority of you away, even the bravest of you who do try to talk to me for a bit because you’re attracted to my face will usually vanish after speaking with me for a few minutes.
Pretty privilege may exist, but I’m still not sure if it can compensate for me being not just a tiger but a rainbow tiger.
So here is a little primer for you about this very eligible but difficult to understand lady.
I’m hard of hearing, which has affected me socially.
I am uncomfortable with eye contact unless I really like you and trust you, so I wear sunglasses a lot.
These two things combined with my neurodivergence means that I miss a lot of social cues.
So, basically if you like me you’re going to have to hit me over the head with it like a sack of bricks, and if I like you I’m probably either going to babble insanely at you or get all quiet and blushy, because it’s like I’m a kitten with its first mouse and I don’t know what the hell I’m doing with it.
I’m also demisexual with a leaning more towards the ace side of things.
I’m still an awesome partner if you can look past the teeth and the claws. I’m intelligent, thoughtful, ambitious, super cuddly and affectionate, and I’ll light up your whole life by drawing you cute little pictures and writing you silly notes and poems. You’ll get to see the sweet, goofy side of me that not everyone does, because truth be told I’m aching to find that one special guy who I can finally relax and roll over for.
If you can tame me, I’ll give you all the belly petting privileges.
And at least once in our time together I’ll write you something that will make you cry.
Approach this rainbow tiger like you would approach any predator: slowly and cautiously.
Take your time, get to know me, stop yammering about how cute or hot I am and for God’s sake don’t try to kiss me until and unless the sunglasses are off and I’m giving you the Nala Eyes (if you’ve ever seen the Can You Feel the Love Tonight scene in The Lion King then you know the ones 🥹).
The black lacy gloves though? Those never come off.
Respect the gloves.
Respect the tiger.
Respect me.
If you can follow this, I guarantee we’ll have many happy times together.
If not, the tiger eats you 😇😘
Peace and Love.
The Tiger
